When I started this site – it was a much different time – I was in a much different place. By an unapologetic dedication, that place is still within the 415 San Francisco area code, but it was seven years ago. And seven years in your 30s, in a City, supporting yourself financially alone – is… and has been… intense.
This post isn’t about all that. It’s about, yet again, why do I insist on keeping this site live? I struggle with that constantly. It costs me money of course to keep it live, for the domain, for the space, but also costs me guilt. Guilt of hanging on to something I no longer want to be and sometimes have some shame around. I’m coming to terms with I could use food-drink and its culture, in unhealthy ways. I really don’t need to eat as many cookies and drink as much coffee I do. I don’t want to be a foodie anymore; I want to be a yogi who can enjoy the delicious things in life in tiny pieces, but without it taking up as much space. And then there’s the guilt of starting something and not finishing it in some way. I didn’t really have a goal, per se, of what that finish line looked like when it started, but I don’t want to be yet again another writer, with another half-deployed project. Plus it’s nice to look back at the small entries over the years, if for nothing else show a record of time itself. Plus, I’m a web-manager *master being the latest title, lol* and seeing the WordPress CMS change is a value in its own right.
And with that, I’ll leave it be. Walk away from entries for – who knows how long – and who cares. Here’s to continuing my path, on and offline, in the best way I can. Much love to the gifts of being, and namaste 🙂